Monday, April 29, 2013
For Love and For Money--my weekend with Lisa Sonora Beam
A few weeks ago Coach Max sent me a note to say hello and to ask if I wanted to meet up at a workshop she would be helping out with--The Creative Entrepreneur taught by Lisa Sonora Beam. I of course wanted to meet the fabulous Max face to face but I didn't know about going to a workshop. I had just spent a non trivial sum of money to have a blockage removed from my cat's bowels (Kitty is ok but we needed to shave him so future deadly hairballs wouldn't form). Still, I was really attracted to the idea--a weekend away in a cute little town doing art. It sounded like a much needed departure from my daily life. I had a burst of warm feelings and decided to invest in my mental health. I didn't care so much about the entrepreneurial aspect as I did about getting away and having some light hearted rest.
In the days leading up to the retreat I read the materials for the workshop, collected the many whimsical materials, read Lisa's blog (utterly charming--but I was getting some ideas that she was far more than an art teacher). I had no idea what kind of magic she had up her sleeve but I was sure I was at the very least going to enjoy the process.
The weekend ended up being so much more than just a restful retreat with colored pencils and cool drinks. Wrapped inside an accomplished heart centered artist is one of the most practical and savvy business coaches I have ever met in any venue. Little did I know my life was about to change.
The first afternoon started with cups of tea at the studio. It was a small class so we had an opportunity to chat one on one. At 5:30PM sharp the workshop began.
We started with basic ground rules for time in the studio--this was to make sure everyone was present and able to have the space and quiet to really go deep and help us find our answers. We began with a simple art project that would be a tool we turned to time and again through the weekend. In a matter of minutes we were quietly painting--my own performance anxiety subsiding as I pushed swathes of saturated color across the page--a prelude to an altered state that allowed me to focus and be in the moment. We gathered images from piles of magazines and calendars--things that we found deeply pleasing--these were to be used over the weekend. There was some discussion about the content of the rest of the workshop and before I knew it two hours had gone by and I was ready for some dinner and quiet time.
The remainder of the weekend was a structured exploration of our best talents and abilities, discovering customer needs and defining areas where our talents best could solve customer needs. We did business strategy, planning, and scoped some initial product offerings all in a focused confidential environment.
None of this felt like work. We played all weekend. I've been to entrepreneurial classes before--not once have I had an experience like this. I literally vibrated all weekend long (and not because of the french press coffee Coach Max kept offering me).
I had solid take-aways from the weekend. Through Lisa's coaching, following her process and with group interaction I had one new idea for a business that I had never contemplated before. I also gained awareness that I do what I call so many other people out on--devaluing and downplaying my professional experience and ability. I tend to always think there is some credibility gap I need to cross experience or training away from a starting point. I realized I had skills I could use today to build a business with--that I have everything I need (not that I won't need ongoing education--everyone needs that).
My part in getting to my starting point is doing the homework to better refine what it is I want to do (this doesn't happen over night or in a weekend--this is CRITICAL to understand this before launching a business).
I cannot recommend this workshop highly enough. For the amount of information and attention I received, the workshop fee was very modest. I felt I got so much more than either a creative weekend or an entrepreneur's bootcamp could offer me.
If you are struggling to start your small business or need help getting to the next level, this is the right workshop. Click here to visit Lisa Sonora Beam The Creative Entrepreneur.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
NaPoWriMo-Day 20-25
Fatigue, I don't know
Sometimes things just want to stop
and then start again
Sometimes things just want to stop
and then start again
Friday, April 19, 2013
NaPoWriMo-Day 19
who I thought I was
not the yelling voice in my mind
not the interpreted words of others
nor what I thought someone said
or thought
not the memory of my potential
nor the projected wishes of elders
not some better future self
when I met me for coffee
and listened as I told my long story
my heart broke
hearing the confusion that
I thought was just the domain of others
coming from the face
I never noticed
because I was brushing my teeth
were words that
made me reach out and take my hand
as I met my gaze
I was struck that the behind the eyes
feeling I felt as cold and angry
only looked wistful projecting out
how could I not have recognized
this person for so long
not the yelling voice in my mind
not the interpreted words of others
nor what I thought someone said
or thought
not the memory of my potential
nor the projected wishes of elders
not some better future self
when I met me for coffee
and listened as I told my long story
my heart broke
hearing the confusion that
I thought was just the domain of others
coming from the face
I never noticed
because I was brushing my teeth
were words that
made me reach out and take my hand
as I met my gaze
I was struck that the behind the eyes
feeling I felt as cold and angry
only looked wistful projecting out
how could I not have recognized
this person for so long
Thursday, April 18, 2013
NaPoWriMo-Day 18
An audio book
Instead of a walk outside
I'm one lazy girl
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
NaPoWriMo-Day 17
voicemail by voicemail
Paul
Hey its Rachel
and on India
and the other
bites
cartons
luncheon meeting
and
there are bridge burns
looking forward
loan
we were wondering
are wondering
where this well
And apparently
as usual
we're rather childish
and so talk (xxx) xxx-xxx
If you could
we don't really go
to
otherwise people
so far chill
around building 17
calling
got your name
okay
bye
Paul
Hey its Rachel
and on India
and the other
bites
cartons
luncheon meeting
and
there are bridge burns
looking forward
loan
we were wondering
are wondering
where this well
And apparently
as usual
we're rather childish
and so talk (xxx) xxx-xxx
If you could
we don't really go
to
otherwise people
so far chill
around building 17
calling
got your name
okay
bye
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
NaPoWriMo-Day 16
Customer Satisfaction Survey
on a scale of one to five
with one being
not at all
and five being
supreme excellence of an almost orgasmic nature
please rate the following
Do you find me useful
Do I meet all operating parameters
Do you find my interface accessible and user friendly
Do I respond to commands and
use fuzzy intelligence
to do what ever it is you are asking for
even though you don't know how to ask for what you need
Do I operate quietly
except for the purr of highly productive cycles
Does my exterior resist most scratches and abrasions
and deflect most dings and dents
and when it comes down to that
will you be able to easily replace
me in whole or in part
when I finally say
fuck off
on a scale of one to five
with one being
not at all
and five being
supreme excellence of an almost orgasmic nature
please rate the following
Do you find me useful
Do I meet all operating parameters
Do you find my interface accessible and user friendly
Do I respond to commands and
use fuzzy intelligence
to do what ever it is you are asking for
even though you don't know how to ask for what you need
Do I operate quietly
except for the purr of highly productive cycles
Does my exterior resist most scratches and abrasions
and deflect most dings and dents
and when it comes down to that
will you be able to easily replace
me in whole or in part
when I finally say
fuck off
Monday, April 15, 2013
NaPoWriMo-Day 15
Development Proposal
Notice to:
dandelions
hollyhocks
mustard greens
minute timers
thistles
unidentified bush with tiny purple flowers
tumble weeds
fox tails
plantains
gophers
skunks
lizards
garden snakes
rabbits
ground squirrels
burrowing owls
feral cats
field mice
beer cans
broken bottles
abandoned shopping cart
doritos wrappers
cigarette butts
office chair
a proposal
has been submitted
to the city of San Jose
to develop
the open field
at the corner of
orchard and component
there will be a hearing
where you can voice
your concerns
Sunday, April 14, 2013
NaPoWriMo-Day 14
just so
clear day
no clouds
lilacs that remind
but never last
sunlight that warms
but not enough to burn
sound of lawnmowers
and small birds in nests
apple blossoms
last oranges
even the weeds look intentional
clear day
no clouds
lilacs that remind
but never last
sunlight that warms
but not enough to burn
sound of lawnmowers
and small birds in nests
apple blossoms
last oranges
even the weeds look intentional
Saturday, April 13, 2013
NaPoWriMo-Day13
i'm back
i had the idea
there was some where I was going
that started here
that I was diverted
and that coming here
would set things straight
but seeing this place I think
there is no back to be at
i had the idea
there was some where I was going
that started here
that I was diverted
and that coming here
would set things straight
but seeing this place I think
there is no back to be at
Friday, April 12, 2013
NaPoWriMo-Day 12
carboranara
that's what i had for dinner
now its time for bed
that's what i had for dinner
now its time for bed
Thursday, April 11, 2013
NaPoWriMo-Day 11
i left my homework on the bus
to whom it may concern
I'm so sorry
I forgot to be inspired today
instead I had a good day
whistled while I worked
high fived a team mate
walked in the sun
and the heat and pressure needed
to produce
some verse
just never built up
instead I had nice thoughts
about good friends
ate my dinner slowly
called my mother
and gazed lovingly at my wife
a poem just didn't happen
life goes on--I will be deep tomorrow
to whom it may concern
I'm so sorry
I forgot to be inspired today
instead I had a good day
whistled while I worked
high fived a team mate
walked in the sun
and the heat and pressure needed
to produce
some verse
just never built up
instead I had nice thoughts
about good friends
ate my dinner slowly
called my mother
and gazed lovingly at my wife
a poem just didn't happen
life goes on--I will be deep tomorrow
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
NaPoWriMo-Day 10
little animal
your watchful watchful eyes
see in the angry stare an assesment
of your essence
although that stare doesn't see you
just your shape and the space it occupies
you learned something
a myth
a lie
a picture with you in the center
and the activity all swirling
in the same direction
the same outcomes
all a lie because of something you think you saw
something that you thought was the truth of you
faces are the same
and the words are the same
and you look in the mirror
and it all matches perfectly
with the myth
with the lie
the something you think you saw
the something that you thought was the truth of you
when you get up in the morning
and you collect the memories
that cement you to this reality
not the reality where you flew past the highwires
in a paper airplane
and the grasses held their own conversations
that reality is different
but this one is based on something you think you saw
this reality that you thought was the truth of you
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
NaPoWriMo-Day 9
cardiologist
how I spent today with mom
more tests in a month
how I spent today with mom
more tests in a month
Monday, April 8, 2013
NaPoWriMo-Day 8
wishes
when you were alive
I wished you were dead
you were the butt of my jokes
and the cause of every problem
when you were sick
I thought it was repayment
the fulfillment of your evil mind
proof of a just god
but then after time
I just saw you were sick
like good people I knew
the ones I agreed with
for whom such a fate was unfair
proof that god doesn't exist
and
when you were finally dead
I was sorry
that the time I spent hating
and joking
and twisting in the sheet of my outrage
that I wasn't doing
the things I knew
were the right things to do
to balance out you
when you were alive
I wished you were dead
you were the butt of my jokes
and the cause of every problem
when you were sick
I thought it was repayment
the fulfillment of your evil mind
proof of a just god
but then after time
I just saw you were sick
like good people I knew
the ones I agreed with
for whom such a fate was unfair
proof that god doesn't exist
and
when you were finally dead
I was sorry
that the time I spent hating
and joking
and twisting in the sheet of my outrage
that I wasn't doing
the things I knew
were the right things to do
to balance out you
Sunday, April 7, 2013
NaPoWriMo-Day 7
I shall not compare thee to a summer's day
if you were wondering
why a love poem hasn't happened
and why my words halt
where they once butterfly boogied
past my flapping gums
words fail me
in the wake of our lives
as I now know you by
the mirroring of our flaws
and to feel like I'm falling
only to be caught by you
when I thought your arms were
too full
the things we've seen aren't pretty
and sometimes we pass a
single respirator back and forth
as we kick together
towards the surface
oh but the surface
with its sunlight
and oxygen
waits for us
as we kick
and breath
and hold on to each other
I didn't know you could swim so well
if you were wondering
why a love poem hasn't happened
and why my words halt
where they once butterfly boogied
past my flapping gums
words fail me
in the wake of our lives
as I now know you by
the mirroring of our flaws
and to feel like I'm falling
only to be caught by you
when I thought your arms were
too full
the things we've seen aren't pretty
and sometimes we pass a
single respirator back and forth
as we kick together
towards the surface
oh but the surface
with its sunlight
and oxygen
waits for us
as we kick
and breath
and hold on to each other
I didn't know you could swim so well
Saturday, April 6, 2013
NaPoWriMo-Day 6
can't get my head straight
keep it simple...who me?
too much cleverness
keep it simple...who me?
too much cleverness
Friday, April 5, 2013
NaPoWriMo-Day 5
these and more
The unreasonable love that ended in crying
To keep a dark vigil that would end only in dying
To be quiet one time and another a blaze
To finally shake off my torpor and haze
Both the stupid and the kind things I have said
To drink all the wine before securing the bread
To complain of my form yet to stay in my chair
To spend a small fortune on cutting my hair
To take risks on faith not counting the cost
Driving for hours not admitting I'm lost
To dive in a lake filled with water once frozen
These are all things I can say I have chosen
The unreasonable love that ended in crying
To keep a dark vigil that would end only in dying
To be quiet one time and another a blaze
To finally shake off my torpor and haze
Both the stupid and the kind things I have said
To drink all the wine before securing the bread
To complain of my form yet to stay in my chair
To spend a small fortune on cutting my hair
To take risks on faith not counting the cost
Driving for hours not admitting I'm lost
To dive in a lake filled with water once frozen
These are all things I can say I have chosen
Thursday, April 4, 2013
NaPoWriMo-Day 4
You aren't sorry
You want things to be the same
You want to pretend
You don't want to pay the bill
You want the past to be something else
You want to think I think it's ok
You want the pain to end
You want to feel safe again
You want a smooth world that will never scratch you
You want some other road
You want comfort
but most of all
You just want me to stop looking at you
the way I'm looking at you now
It makes you feel sorry but somehow
You aren't sorry
You want things to be the same
You want to pretend
You don't want to pay the bill
You want the past to be something else
You want to think I think it's ok
You want the pain to end
You want to feel safe again
You want a smooth world that will never scratch you
You want some other road
You want comfort
but most of all
You just want me to stop looking at you
the way I'm looking at you now
It makes you feel sorry but somehow
You aren't sorry
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
NoPoWriMo-Day 3
How I Plan My Garden
Where did that red rose come from?
Don't know
Why don't you get rid of the Scotch Broom?
Don't know
Did the Lamb's Ears spread by root or by seed?
Don't know
How will you treat the aphids this year?
Don't know
Your peach tree isn't thriving...why?
Don't know
You have so many kinds of Rosemary...how many?
Don't know
Why did you plant so much purple?
Don't know
Where does the rabbit live? How many are there?
Don't know
Will you rotate the tomato bed?
Don't know
Where do all these questions come from?
Don't know
When will I finally be present?
...
Where did that red rose come from?
Don't know
Why don't you get rid of the Scotch Broom?
Don't know
Did the Lamb's Ears spread by root or by seed?
Don't know
How will you treat the aphids this year?
Don't know
Your peach tree isn't thriving...why?
Don't know
You have so many kinds of Rosemary...how many?
Don't know
Why did you plant so much purple?
Don't know
Where does the rabbit live? How many are there?
Don't know
Will you rotate the tomato bed?
Don't know
Where do all these questions come from?
Don't know
When will I finally be present?
...
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
NaPoWriMo-Day 2
am not am
I am a writer
not a reader
of writers
who write about writing
I am a doer
not a doing
of talkers
who talk about doing
I am a reader
but not a reader
of writings about writings
I should be reading
I am a thinker
but not a fighter
about thoughts
some other one thinks
I am a have
not that I have to do something
but that I have something to do
I am a writer
not a reader
of writers
who write about writing
I am a doer
not a doing
of talkers
who talk about doing
I am a reader
but not a reader
of writings about writings
I should be reading
I am a thinker
but not a fighter
about thoughts
some other one thinks
I am a have
not that I have to do something
but that I have something to do
Monday, April 1, 2013
NaPoWriMo-Day 1
Gloria
She begins
by turning all
the lights on
through the house
ending at the bath
she dials it to hot
light heat steam
invoking one voice
silencing others
"your downward mobility is your privledge"
she said and created her own voluptuous magic
ignoring skinny pale scolds who
had choices before they knew they were choices
She begins
by turning all
the lights on
through the house
ending at the bath
she dials it to hot
light heat steam
invoking one voice
silencing others
"your downward mobility is your privledge"
she said and created her own voluptuous magic
ignoring skinny pale scolds who
had choices before they knew they were choices
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