I started writing this post three weeks ago and life started happening all over the place!
After getting over my illness (FINALLY) and getting back to a more or less normal pace my poor Mom manages to fall on her FACE while moving a flower pot.
Good news is that Mom is ok. She had some pretty scary looking abrasions--and because she hit her head the urgent care send us to the ER in case she needed a CT scan. After 2 hours of answering repetitive questions and waiting around, the doctor decided Mom didn't need any deep diagnostics. They closed up Mom's wounds and sent her home (she refused a wheel chair ride to the car--the staff called her "feisty").
The day after the trip to the ER I was dead---so tired. I didn't stay up any later than usual nor did I wake up any earlier but I was still really tired.
The ER is an exhausting place to be--when my brother called me and told me Mom had fallen and that I needed to get over there I went on high alert and remained flooded with adrenaline all night. After we took Mom home I was rag doll weak. It didn't help that I had an early morning at work that diverted me from my usual routine. I didn't bring my usual healthy lunch or get in my usual yoga and meditation. The whole combo messed me up!
And even worse, that whole week was full of early work days. I could get up earlier to do my routine but I was already tired.
So, what does kindness look like when you are already running behind on self care, feeling stressed and the end still isn't in sight?
It looks like the best you can do.
As the days after Mom's fall turned to weeks, Christmas rolled around as well as the wrap up for the end of the year at work. I focused on the essential things I needed to do and let the rest go. Luckily I already did all my shopping online so I only had to face the madness of the retail world to pick up groceries for our holiday dinner. Beyond that I spent a lot of time just resting and reading books. I gradually brought back in my self care rituals -- I feel better doing them than not doing them.
My routine is actually what helps me get through my stressful times but sometimes I need even more flexibility. Five minutes of stillness or a minute of planking is better than the lengthy meditation/exercise sessions I would have skipped because they felt like too much in the moment.
For me, self kindness is looking more and more like rest and choosing behaviors that support me through my days, giving myself a break from perfectionism and letting good enough be good enough.
How did your holidays go? Please drop me a line or respond to this posting let me know how your kindness experiment is coming along.