There is an angry, unappreciative, tense part of myself that has the microphone every-time I think I need to "improve" myself.
It's the part of me that thinks that there is something wrong with me, with what's going on around me, with the general tapestry of my life. It's wrong. Wrong I tell you!
Whether it's my weight, how well I'm doing at my day job, the general order or disorder of my home, or how I stack up to others-none of it is happy. None of it makes me feel good. What am I improving? Where is this going? When will it ever end?
Even the idea that I could be having a more interesting life seems poisonous. I have exactly the life I created for myself--the one I picked based on every action I've ever took. Thinking it should be "more interesting" would be the same as saying I've done it all wrong.
As a coach, self improvement is a tricky question (it's a multi-billion dollar industry and it appears to be growing). My personal coach and friend Max Daniels brought it up in her blog recently calling it a "a deep crevice, very near the bottom. Down where there's no oxygen". Many people seeking coaching are trying to fix something about themselves--to improve.
I'm going to be bold--there is nothing about you to fix.
Also, there is nothing about me to fix. There is nothing about "that other person" to fix. And, shockingly, there is nothing in the world to fix either. Everything is exactly as it should be. Tomorrow, it will all change in some way and THAT will be exactly as it should be too. There is nothing wrong with any of it.
This is where people will get angry/indignant that I'm not giving sufficient weight to the problems that the world has. Or even more, the very very VERY serious and real personal flaws that people need to fix RIGHT NOW (seriously, this enormous butt isn't going to shrink itself).
Yah, so if everything is perfect, then why get coached at all?
Honey pie, if you are suffering over any part of your life, that's where the coaching comes in. Coaching is about your thinking--not fixing.
If you are suffering over something, you have created a story that is bending your perception of reality.
Skillful coaching helps remove thinking that keeps you trapped in a self improvement cycle--the kind of illusion that makes your perfect life some "just out of reach" thing in the future. Believe it or not, your perfect life is just waiting for you to notice it.
Oddly, once your change your thinking, everything else changes as well. I said it before, this isn't woo. It might seem like magic but anyone who has studied illusion knows that the magic is in the seeing.
If you want to experiment with unwinding some of your own illusions, drop me a line.