The Decision to have a creative life.

One day, not yesterday and not last week but years ago  I decided to have a creative life.

Having a creative life right now is mostly expressed as writing--but it's not just that. It's the way I live. Sometimes my creativity is expressed as writing or drawing or painting or gardening or conducting some odd experiment but it's a thread that goes through my day to day living. Because of that thread, I write nearly every day--this wasn't always the case.

When I was a young adult I was really prolific--I turned out short stories and artwork with frightening ease. And then when I was flushed into the working world it all stopped. I just couldn't get back in my groove. So I started to tell myself ridiculous stories about all the things I had before that "made me creative". I tried to simulate those things and blamed my lack of creative fire on my job, my relationship, obligations etc. I blamed it on living in a two-bedroom apartment with no "space" to write in. I blamed it on being in a relationship with a highly extroverted person who loved being social (and taking me with her). I blamed it on everything except my failure to sit down and put pen to paper.

Instead of writing I spent my time thinking about what I didn't like doing, about how to escape the things I didn't like, and about how my life would be so much better once I finally escaped every irritation. Because then, once I wasn't irritated, I could finally have a creative life.

I played make believe that my creative life would happen in a future time when things were magically better.

My life felt like it was perpetually on hold.

I finally realized things wouldn't get better unless I sat down and wrote.

The space I wanted to have to create I had to create inside myself--the will to create no matter what my circumstances.

The will to create doesn't require me having a nice studio, perfect quiet, comfort or other rarified qualities. It meant making my creative life the Beloved. It meant taking the mundane and elevating it. Finding magic in everyday somethings. 

Today I'm focused on telling deeper truths.

It all started with the decision to have a creative life and believing in the perfection of right now.

Are you waiting for things to change so things will change for you or will you be the one to change first? How will you begin your own creative life?

some advice on how to grow tomatoes

Right now is the best time where I live to put in tomato plants. There is no danger of frost overnight and the days are warmer. I buy my seedlings (impatient) but I do one thing that ensures really strong healthy plants. I cut off all the leaves except the ones at the very top (the large ones at the crown) and then plant my seedling almost all the way up to those leaves. All the nodules at the base will develop roots to bring in moisture and nourish the baby plant.

When I water the plants I water them deeply and regularly--not superficially so the moisture just stays on the surface to evaporate in the sun. The water goes down to those deep developing roots and sustains the plant despite baking heat that drys the surface out.

When the seedling takes off it grows tall, bushes out and immediately starts to put out blossoms. I pluck these initial blossoms off for the first couple of weeks until I know the night won't drop below a certain temperature. At this point I stake the plants. Only then do I allow blossoms to develop. When fruit begins to form I then carefully begin a process of removing secondary leaves. I only leave on a few per branch allowing the most nutrition to flow to the developing fruit. As a result, I get far more giant beefsteak tomatoes in a season than I can use. I enjoy giving these colorful, meaty fruits away to my family and close friends.

None of these actions take much time but they have a huge impact on the quality of my tomato crop.

There is nothing magical about my process. It's all about paying attention and doing things that I know will make a difference. I don't spend every minute of every day but I give my plants consistent care. From the outside people may look at my tomato plants and think I have a special talent or other advantage. Nope, just practice. I look forward to seeing to seeing my crop develop and I look forward to sharing the results with others. It's a multi layered process. Additionally I've chosen to not grow other things so this one crop does well. What I don't do is as important as what I do do.

Everything else in life is like this. Taking up a language, a musical instrument, trying out a new hobby, learning skills for your career, writing a book--energy flows where attention goes. What seems small and underdeveloped to you right now has great potential to grow and thrive if you care for it. The DNA of every pursuit has written within it a roadmap for its success. Your job is to enable that growth with attention and by cutting out the things that impede it.

What do you wish to grow today?

What I've been up to lately

My class with Lisa Sonora Beam has really set me on some interesting explorations career-wise. Not ready to say what about yet but I plan to start making new services available by the end of the year. Its driving me in different directions at work too which is exciting and adding a real boost of cheerfulness to my work days.

The poetry writing as well as working with Lisa and Coach Max has definitely loosened me up. I've started painting again. I purchased a calligraphy brush, a bottle of Ultra Black ink and a roll of paper for making Shojii screens. I've been painting every morning before work and sometimes after work too. Unlike everything else, this pursuit truly has no goal. I don't even have to please myself...I just go for what feels good on the paper.

I remember as a little girl I REALLY wanted to help out with things like painting the fence. Instead of handing me a brush, my dad gave me some sandpaper and a piece of rough sawed redwood plank. He told me I could paint when it was smooth as glass.

(he really didn't want any help painting)

I still wanted to experience the luscious sensation of thickly applying paint with a brush. I just wanted to dip the brush right in the can and start gliding it over the surface of whatever I was working on.

When I got my first set of acrylic paints I couldn't wait to realize an image from my imagination on canvas. I was surprised that the gap between my imagination and the craft of painting was so wide! My first painting was pretty gloppy--bright as well. I had no idea how to mix paint so I used the hues as they came from the tube.

Over time the gap narrowed but I was never able to achieve the realism I craved. There were so many things to balance and adding color applied with something as strange as paint is yet another layer of skill. I wasn't great but I loved to paint and even considered an art major before going for the infinitely more practical Literature degree.

All these musings about art and creativity are because last weekend was the Maker Faire (my favorite event of the year). Its like Gay Pride for geeks and crafty people with less disco but possibly twice as many strobe lights. For a full day I was surrounded by people following their curiosity and ingenuity--sometimes making a profit and sometimes just there to show and tell. Most of the things there had a lot of preparation and polish, some of the exhibits were clearly "works in progress"...not quite ready but ready enough to show off the idea.

What I especially enjoy about the event is the supportiveness I witness around me. This event really is about showing and sharing...not competing or criticizing. I think there is a general understanding that if you have enough guts to bring your project to such a public and well attended event you deserve to be treated with respect and consideration. I've heard plenty of times myself when someone tried to tell me the "right way" to do something. I'd like to see this crowd spared that brand of helpfulness.